your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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