i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
