It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
