You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
