grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
