What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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