Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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