Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
