Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
