dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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