unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
