Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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