i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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