Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
