apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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