Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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