At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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