okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
