why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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