i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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