pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
