Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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