I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize