its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
