RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
