U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
