and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
