You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
