we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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