She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
