I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
