Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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