If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
