There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
