ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
