omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
they need to just BURY HIM!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
