Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm passing your future prison.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
