Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
