it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
