Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
