I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
