You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And the cops told us we were all naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
