i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
