You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize