Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I touched a dick in church today
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
