I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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