i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
