i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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