Dual....:-)
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
