I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
