No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
