My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The beer is more important than you right now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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