I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
