She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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