Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize