I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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