I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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