She said her name was "party"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
