If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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