O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
