Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
