Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
