Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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