I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
