I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
