I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize