And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
