he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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