Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
