Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
