it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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