You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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