Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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