Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
