Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
