Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
