I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
